JS's blog

The spouse conundrum - a way to peace and happiness

In the 33+ years I've been in AA, Alanon and OA, I've heard many people share of how they feel their spouse is a mis-fit. I was one of those people, so much so, my first marriage ended in acrimony.

...... The 12 steps are the only method I've come across (and I've participated in many many many 'courses'!) that effectively takes my gaze inwards, even for the most un-initiated. Such as addicts, alcoholics and co-dependents. No wonder there are so many 12-step fellowships around!

AA's Oldest Sober Living person's sane advise. Is the fellowship listening?

This is my humble request to all the old timers to come out of their lairs and pay back to mother AA whatever it has given to them years ago. She is in great distress in our country today. Please speak out, write, express your candid opinions in all the languages given to us by God, since only we can convey the AA message effectively to the alcoholics who are still suffering. Only we can keep the fellowship safe and strong. These little bullies dare not come anywhere near us, the bigger bullies, of days gone by. Haven’t we died several times during our drunken days in the past? My understanding of an alcoholic is that basically he is a fearless killer, killer for a good cause after he becomes sober and also ready to lay down his life for others. Our responsibility in AA ends only when we breathe our last, and so we must continue to work for AA for our own personal sobriety and for the sobriety of all those practicing alcoholics who are ignorantly suffering. That would be the greatest contribution of our lives to our family, to our society and to our country, India, and to the AA fellowship in the world at large...... John K.

A GSO structure for AA in India

I came into the AA fellowship in 1984. There were some 4 Groups at that time in Bangalore, with some 15 active members or thereabouts. Since then AA has grown in leaps and bounds in membership in some pockets of India while lagging behind in others. But it has grown in geographic reach to cover most states and many cities and towns, even some rural areas.

Yet the "service structure" of the fellowship has neither adapted to the geographical reach, decentralising to be effective, nor has it promoted the 12 steps of recovery, resulting in less than about 7-10% of members remaining active after a year or two. The percentage of drop outs has been unhealthy to say the least.

The programme is not a theory!

I've been doing the 12-step workshop since 2008 and have seen lots of people do the SWS repeatedly. Sadly, they rarely think it's all about practicing the steps!

More theory (Gyan) won't make anything better. Recovery requires that we practice the steps, not preach them!

Ventrans of multiple SWSs are around, but it's a crying shame that they can't or won't even make a heartfelt apology, let alone amends.